FASTEST REJECTION EVER

Heidy-Ho, Blogging Buddies! Welcome back.

As you know by now, I am seeking employment opportunities here in southwest Louisiana. While there are a number of opportunities, I am having a bit of difficulty finding something for which I am an appropriate match. (I have decided that Body Guard is not really my calling for various reasons.)

So... I thought you might appreciate a little tale here about one of my recent online application endeavors.

I located a position for which I had all but one qualification (which wasn't something that would really take me more than about an afternoon to completely grasp). I carefully put together the information required by the system in order to submit my resume' online. I reviewed the posting to make certain I wasn't missing anything (like a certification I didn't have?) and, sure enough, I was fine. At approximately 10:30ish a.m. on Wednesday, July 8, 2009, I pushed "send" and submitted my information for review.

At approximately 11:09 a.m. (per the server timestamp) on Wednesday, July 8, 2009, I received the following email:
"Dear Mary Condren: Thank you for your interest in the position of (position deleted). After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that you have not been selected to interview for this position."

Now... the email went further advising my "profile" would remain in the system, I was encouraged to explore other positions matching my skills & interests, yadda-yadda-yadda.

Finally, the email ended with "We thank you again for your interest and wish you all the best in your career."

Okay. This was the fastest rejection of which I have ever been at the receiving end. That really didn't bother me a lot. I don't take rejection personally. There were, however, two things about that rejection email that truly DID bother me. (Those of you who know me well understand my penchant for proper wording and literal translations!)

1) "After careful consideration..." - Who are they kidding?!? Exactly what gnome do they have sitting at the computer anxiously awaiting a resume', any resume', to pop onto the screen to spend agonizing amounts of time "considering" it?!? LOL!!! C'mon. I might have taken this line a bit more seriously had the time lapse between my sending my resume' and my receiving the rejection been slightly more than... oh... let's see... 39 minutes? Perhaps the gnome really does work that quickly! Perhaps the gnome simply had nothing else to do that day! Perhaps the gnome was in a foul mood that morning because of reasons I don't want to explore! (It is a gnome, Blogging Pals!) None of this truly matters. I just really don't appreciate my intelligence being so rudely insulted. :)

2) "... wish you all the best in your career." - Another little tidbit I just can't quite wrap my head around. Okay... let's review. (a) I have applied for a position with your firm. (b) I need a job. (c) At this time, I could hardly state I have a "career." (d) Even if I AM presently employed (which I am not), why would you wish me the best in a career I am clearly not interested in... thus my application with you? (e) Did the gnome put you up to this?!?!?!?

Alright. I'm done. A little soapboxing for the day. I reckon I have to laugh to keep from crying.

Hope all is well with every one of you and yours. Until the next post...