HGTV - LIARS, I TELL YA'!!!

Heidy-Ho, Blogging Buddies.  I know how long it has been.  I have a reason this time so bear with me.

First, let's play a little game.  I like to call it "What IS That?!?!?"

 I was heading out to water the bird baths the other day when I noticed there was something apparently "hanging" from the bottom of one of my hanging baskets.  What went through my mind?  (Say it with me here!)  "What IS that?!?"

So, I wandered closer to check it out.  Although there had not been much rain here for the weeks prior to this day, I had faithfully been watering my hanging baskets.  Clearly that was working since a lovely little mushroom had chosen to grow... upside down... from the hole in the bottom of the basket.

Alright.  Enough game-fun.

So,... let's talk about why I am ranting against my very most favorite cable channel, HGTV (Home and Garden Television to the uninitiated).  I have been watching this channel ever since I broke down and paid for cable television.  (Don't laugh... it hasn't been multiple decades!)  I have come to know many of the designers and their styles.  I love the "transform" programs where an ugly duckling property is revamped into a fabulous, wish-I-could-live-there environment.  I have been known to watch the "Design Star" show, amazed at some of the things the competitors come up with to turn a blank slate into an inviting (and sometimes an uninviting!) space.  Yep.  I'm hooked.  Everything was fine... up until a couple of weeks ago when I made the mistake of BELIEVING that some do-it-yourself projects really WERE in the realm of my doing.

I have had issue with my kitchen ever since actually viewing this house before buying it.  When I arrived, the upper cabinets were white, the countertops were white, the lower cabinets were white, the appliances were white... need I say more?  I felt as though I had been engulfed within a loaf of Wonder Bread every time I walked into the room.  Did I mention the trim was white?  I was surprised the tile floor was not white (how did THAT happen?) although it is very light and neutral.  Sigh.  I went about replacing the sink, range, and dishwasher with black appliances but was "stuck" with the white refrigerator for the time being due to the too-long upper cabinets above it.  My beautiful black fridge is too tall for the space.

Fast forward three-plus years.  I'm over this.  I will not deal with this Wonder Bread kitchen any longer.  Nope.  I have the time.  I have some skills.  I am going to get those too-long cabinets over the fridge cut shorter, cut off two other long uppers over the peninsula to open the kitchen up into the den, and paint the stinkin' cabinets!!  Can I do it?  Well, HGTV says I can!!  LIARS!!!

That last statement was not really accurate.  HGTV was correct that I could actually do the job... it just did not say it would take me half of my life.  I CAN do this... but it appears I will be in my mid-90s before this is ever actually finished.  Sigh.  The time-killer is not the painting.  Nope.  That actually goes rather quickly.  I should have known.  I know that television chefs have a horde of helpers who do all of the slicing, dicing, shopping, chopping, and all other preparatory duties before the chef ever steps onto the kitchen set to prepare a fabulous dish.  Why would painting be any different?

So... I have pulled every single object from cabinets and drawers, removed the god-awful sticky contact paper lining the drawers and shelves, used a marvelous product (thanks, Sherwin-Williams, for the recommendation!) called "Krud-Kutter" to get the sticky (and other yucky stuff) off of the wood, completely cleaned the shelves/drawers, sanded the whole mess to provide roughness for the paint to adhere to, cleaned the sanded surfaces with TSP-PF (look it up), taped off everything that was NOT intended to be painted, and then... finally... spent a couple of minutes painting.  Putting a "fresh coat of paint" on your kitchen cabinets to "update the look" is NOT a simple, weekend-only needed project!!!  Do NOT let them fool you!!!  I started this project on June 25th and have worked for some period of time every day since then.  I am not quite halfway through and am still waiting on someone to come shorten the two sets of upper cabinets.  Sigh.

So you will not think I am just whining without cause (which I have been known to do... but not this time!), take a look at the following.

WONDER BREAD!!!

First Section targeted for paint.

Painting done. Awaiting new pulls

In progress now.

Prep work finally done.  Ready to paint.

I realize the photos do not provide a truly accurate color for you.  The upper cabinets are a light grey... battleship variety... while the lower cabinets are a deep bluish-grey.  Sherwin-Williams colors "Uncertain Gray" (upper) and "Gray's Harbor" (lowers) are the choices.

The hero here is the spousal-unit... again.  No, he is not helping me clear, clean, or paint.  What he IS doing is painting the hinges for me.  I tried to find "standard" replacement hinges but these lovely mid-70s model hinges were just a WEE bit different from the testers I bought to try.  When I had reached the end of my patience (a very short distance, I assure you!), he offered up the solution and has been painting both hinges and screws as I have worked on the actual cabinets.  The new pulls are on order and will hopefully arrive the week of the 16th.  No rush, obviously!  :)

So... if you thought I was just slacking off and not posting, you were wrong.  I have been more busy than I ever intended and am now trapped in a need-to-finish state! Maybe it will happen before I'm 90.  Who knows?!?!?!?  Anything is possible, right?

Thanks for nothin', HGTV!!!

Until next post...