THE NASTIEST POTATOES EVER!!

Heidy-Ho, Blogging Pals!! Oh my gosh! This is just too good to keep to myself.

So... the spousal-unit has very specific eating customs. Some of you are aware of this. Others are not. Let me just summarize his customs for you:
1) Meat? Eat it.
2) Potato? Eat it.
3) Bean? Eat it.
4) Bread (all variations including tortillas)? Eat it.
5) Green (other than LeSeur peas)? Don't go near it. It will hurt you.
6) Vegetable other than corn or LeSeur peas? No need for any of that nonsense!
7) Fruit? Consider it when in the bi-annual mood for same.
8) All else? Proceed with extreme caution. Only trusted items are corn and LeSeur peas.

I hope you have a complete understanding of the very limited diet the poor man chooses. I don't know how he stands it. There really is no actual variety there.

At any rate... we were over at my aunt's house for lunch one day. The menu included pork chops (see #1 above), corn bread (see #4 above), turnip greens (see #5 & #6 above), and a pot full of items that had the appearance of boiled potatoes (see #2 above).

My aunt's plate was on the table, I returned to the table with mine, and the spousal-unit headed into the kitchen to serve himself. Imagine my surprise when he returned with several small, boiled, white items on his plate!!!! My surprise, clearly, was due to MY knowledge that they were TURNIPS!!! Why on EARTH would he even put those on his plate? Surely he KNOWS they are turnips? But then... even after the 19+ years I have known the man, he still surprises me sometimes. This may be one of those times. I am not going to say anything.

So, Debbie has now seated herself with her plate and we have all begun to dine. Debbie and I both happened to glance at the spousal-unit about the same time... the moment that the first fork with small, boiled, white pieces hit his lips. I only wish you all could have shared that moment with us. His lips pressed together, then twisted. His eyes shot from side-to-side. His nose crinkled exactly as one expects Santa's to do after hearing "The Night Before Christmas." I have never seen that face. I immediately turned my eyes back to my own plate after a brief glance at Debbie. Debbie was nearly choking on the sip of water she had been taking. I just kept eating, thinking that he would simply not continue with the turnips after having had that experience.

Nope. I was wrong. His mother (thank you, Kathy!) had raised a polite man. He completely covered the offensive vegetables with salt and a blackening pouring of pepper. He then proceeded to put a piece of cornbread followed by one of the offending pieces of turnip on the fork. I couldn't watch any more. Debbie said he didn't even chew the forkful. He would just swallow and have a drink of water. In short order, the turnips were gone.

So... after we had retired to the den for a little mid-day news and conversation with the aunt, I couldn't help myself. I looked across the room at the sweet, polite spousal-unit and asked, "So, Ron-Man? How did you enjoy your turnips?" Again, I wish you all had been there with us. He looked at me, eyes as big around as saucers, and said, "I THOUGHT those were the nastiest potatoes ever!" My aunt, Debbie, and I just about fell out of our respective seats laughing. He went on to tell us how he could not understand how the "potatoes" had turned out tasting so badly. He thought the cook had perhaps used the "green" water (from the turnip greens) to boil them. He also didn't know why they were so "mushy." Blogging Buddies... I cannot begin to explain to you that moment of recognition... when my beloved spousal-unit realized he had actually consumed TURNIPS!!! I was even more amazed that he kept them down!!

Needless to say, I'm fairly certain my fine spousal-unit will approach anything and everything with a bit more skepticism in the future. I suggested that it was perfectly okay to not eat something if, after tasting it, one did not find it tasty. I think he is just going to approach everything more cautiously... and maybe ask what's in the pot!

As we approach the beginning of the next decade, I wish you all a safe, happy, prosperous, and healthy New Year. Live each day to the fullest and don't get caught up in the small stuff.

Until next year!!!...